Old Archie

 

Old Archie was a rag and bone man

Who cruised the streets all day

With Mabel his trusted friend and companion

Who pulled the four wheel dray

Which he had purloined from a brewery

Which had been closing down

A big old red brick building

That was on the edge of town

Now Mabel was twenty eight years old

A big old dapple grey

Who cost old Archie a fortune

In biscuits and in hay

But they has been together forever

Or so it really seemed

To Archie as he sat upon the seat

Occasionally falling asleep and dreamed

Rag and Bone he used to shout

As loud as loud could be

And people would come out and give

Old clothes and other goods for free

Sometimes around the posh areas

He would have to pay

And that would just set him off

 Moaning the rest of the day

For Archie was a tightwad

Money seemed to be welded in his pocket

He even had a few pound notes

Around his neck in an old locket

But it also contained a picture

Of his beloved flo

His wife for many a long year

The Lord decided had to go

So now it was only Mabel and him

Companions till the end

Working together all day long

Archie’s one true friend.

One day whilst out upon their round

Mabel caused a disgrace

Her tummy was not all it should be

She left manure all over the place

P C Smith came running

Stop he shouted loud and clear

Bur Archie being a little bit deaf

He really did not hear

The constable was now running fast

Gaining on the dray

But slipped upon some of Mabel’s mess

As Archie went on his merry way

He landed in a heap in the road

About twenty feet further adrift

Regaining his composure as best he could

Out came his notebook rather swift

I am arresting you he shouted

For causing this sorry mess

So let’s be having you matey

What’s your name and address

By now a crowd had gathered round

Complaining of police brutality

For picking on an old man and his horse

Only a rag and bone man you see

As P C Smith put away his notebook

Realising it was a waste of time

Mrs Jones came from up the road

A lady in her prime

Bucket and spade in hand

She started to scoop up the mess

It’s for my Roses she cried

Spilling some on her dress

Meantime old Archie and Mabel

Started off down the road

Having caused all chaos

His dray now with a full load

It had been just another day for Mabel and him

Who had seen it all, over the past twenty-eight years

A lifetime of hard work and laughter

Along with a few tears

So if you see them out when you’re passing

Just give them a wave and a cheer

Or even better still

Buy them a well earned beer